The Gym

Skits like this are likely to inspire people to go to the gym:

(Yes, I was looking for an excuse to post this pic. I love it, it makes me laugh, and I don't particularly care if it really has nothing to do with my post!)

Speaking of going to the gym, I find it an endless source of amusement. I guess you have to be a people-watcher to agree, but who isn't at least slightly amused after a good session of people watching?

It all begins in the parking lot. Everyone, including myself for some reason, is cruising for the best spot. Muscleheads, hard-bodied chicks, businessmen... they all have one thing in common. They don't want to have to walk too far to get to the gym. Yes, I know it is ironic and absurd and down right silly, but it's true! I have seen it, I have done it, I have laughed about it. For some reason, even though they are about to walk through the doors and sweat their asses off for an hour, they are determined to get a close parking spot. I think it must be proof of the predatory nature of humans. Getting that sought-after spot is like accomplishing a goal, and these people are winners, damnit!

Then you walk in and, in my gym anyway, there are rows and rows of machines. Occupied machines. They make me think of gerbils on wheels, the way they run in place, or go up/down up/down on the stairs all in a nice tidy row like that.

And there is always someone being a fool. Like the other night when there weren't many people around. Apparently this older man didn't realize that the fewer people there are in the gym, the more likely you are to be seen making a complete ass of yourself. He was spotting his friend when his "sawng" came on. I think it was Push It by Salt-n-Peppa. All I know is that he couldn't control himself. He was itching to move to the beat, and by God, he finally just let go and did it - while he was standing over his friend who was bench pressing a large amount of weight. It took all I had not to laugh out loud. I managed to keep quiet and just watch the show. He was even watching himself in the mirror, wiggling his ass and checking himself out. Of course, it all stopped when the song changed. But it was an entertaining few minutes, indeed!

I have also been witness to a few shameless pickup attempts. Men checking out women while they try to work out. Coming over to talk to them. Or vice versa. How stupid are these people? No one wants to receive that kind of attention while they are sweaty, smelly and disgusting. While we are in the process of making ourselves more desirable, we don't necessarily want to test our new look out now. The only man who ever starting trying to talk me up at the gym was a trainer. I think he just wanted me to swoon and sign up for lessons with him or something, so he could make money. I was polite, flashed the ring, and left. Haven't heard from him again. But still... I kind of love it when the failed pickups happen in my vicinity because it really makes me appreciate my situation. Ha!

Honestly, the gym isn't as bad as I had imagined. I figured it would be a bunch of buff people and chubby ole me, but that hasn't been the case. I have seen so many different types of people in there that it almost raises the self-esteem, not the other way around. There are skinny twig people, regular people like me, sporty people, muscle-bound people, fat people, etc. It's really kind of a cross-section of the public. That is a good thing... I'm glad I'm not paying to be intimidated by people! But I do have to hope, for the sake of some of those super skin and bones chicks that are there every time I am there, that they're trying to gain muscle and bulk themselves up, and not just run-of-the-mill anorexics or something sad like that.