Masturbation lost its fun

A giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders and an even gianter weight has been added.

Tonight I had a very much needed talk w/the man I may possibly love. Yes I said love and it scares me more then it may scare my fellow bloggers. We're insanely crazy about each other but can it work. For it to work I may need to quit a job I love. Or it could mean a long distance relationship...which is worse? This is his career, this is my part time I need to pay off my stupid credit card debt job. He wins. Other people who work there can make it work, without any discrimnation. If we try it, he will get shit on, I will get shit on. Do you quit a job for possible love and a great future or do risk it all? Getting shit on at work and maybe not having love. Do you hope that no one will care? No one will find out? Do you want to hide something that could mean the world to you?

I'm probably revealing way to much here and will delete this in the morning. But right now I'm grateful to be part of one of the greatest group of bloggers this world will ever see and expressing what is on my mind. I need this job. I need him. Money or possible love? What wins? I know in my heart what wins but can I do it?

fyi....tomorrow I get my hair chopped. OFF.