The Joys of being Female
We are a lucky sex let me tell you.
You have the obvious: childbirth, periods, cramps, mood swings and menopause. But we also have a few other wonderful things we have to deal with.
Body hair. Okay...I blame men for this one. God gave us all this body hair so why exactly do we have to do everything in our power to remove it? So we are more...what...attractive? sexy? smooth? Why exactly? I mean think about it...if I were to never have shaved in my life my leg hair would not be that long, that dark and I'm guessing it might even be on the soft side. Think of the peach fuzz legs we had as kids...big deal! I won't go into other areas we shave or wax. But I will mention the hair we as women are not supposed to get. Ahem. Chin Hair. Seriously, why? I'm not a man, I don't have a beard and I didn't have this problem 5 years ago. So why now? Why half way thru my day at work does this annoying little hair pop out and says look at me look at me! Little bastards.
Shedding. If I had thin hair I think I would be terrified by the amount of hair I lose in one day. Men I'm sure you have this problem too but short hair=not noticeable. On average I must lose 100 hairs in a day. They are everyWHERE. My clothes, my sink, my sheets, my shoes, your sheets, the floor, but worst of all down my shirt. Men if you see us digging in between our boobs don't get excited , we aren't feeling ourselves up, we have an invisible hair trapped down there and its itchy and it tickles and it will take us 30 minutes to find it and another will replace it in an hour. And it will always happen when you are talking with someone you are supposed to be professional with so then you can't reach down and find it. You have to squirm around and hope it works its way out. Press your arm against your chest casually to scratch that itch. And aside from the 100 hairs I lose in a normal day I must lose a 100 more in the shower alone. Jesus, if I kept the loose hairs that collect on my hand and my legs (why do they do that, they wash down till they hit your thigh and say this is a good place to stay till she removes us one by one) while shampooing for month I'm pretty sure I could make a wig for someone who needs it. Is it too much to ask that you stay in my head?
I do envy all fairskinned, light haired women out there who can go a day without shaving and not have to worry about 5 o'clock shadow on their legs. And the ones who can go for days...well I think I might hate you. And lucky you for not having to feel like you have more arm hair then most men.
I guess I just have issues with hair.
You have the obvious: childbirth, periods, cramps, mood swings and menopause. But we also have a few other wonderful things we have to deal with.
Body hair. Okay...I blame men for this one. God gave us all this body hair so why exactly do we have to do everything in our power to remove it? So we are more...what...attractive? sexy? smooth? Why exactly? I mean think about it...if I were to never have shaved in my life my leg hair would not be that long, that dark and I'm guessing it might even be on the soft side. Think of the peach fuzz legs we had as kids...big deal! I won't go into other areas we shave or wax. But I will mention the hair we as women are not supposed to get. Ahem. Chin Hair. Seriously, why? I'm not a man, I don't have a beard and I didn't have this problem 5 years ago. So why now? Why half way thru my day at work does this annoying little hair pop out and says look at me look at me! Little bastards.
Shedding. If I had thin hair I think I would be terrified by the amount of hair I lose in one day. Men I'm sure you have this problem too but short hair=not noticeable. On average I must lose 100 hairs in a day. They are everyWHERE. My clothes, my sink, my sheets, my shoes, your sheets, the floor, but worst of all down my shirt. Men if you see us digging in between our boobs don't get excited , we aren't feeling ourselves up, we have an invisible hair trapped down there and its itchy and it tickles and it will take us 30 minutes to find it and another will replace it in an hour. And it will always happen when you are talking with someone you are supposed to be professional with so then you can't reach down and find it. You have to squirm around and hope it works its way out. Press your arm against your chest casually to scratch that itch. And aside from the 100 hairs I lose in a normal day I must lose a 100 more in the shower alone. Jesus, if I kept the loose hairs that collect on my hand and my legs (why do they do that, they wash down till they hit your thigh and say this is a good place to stay till she removes us one by one) while shampooing for month I'm pretty sure I could make a wig for someone who needs it. Is it too much to ask that you stay in my head?
I do envy all fairskinned, light haired women out there who can go a day without shaving and not have to worry about 5 o'clock shadow on their legs. And the ones who can go for days...well I think I might hate you. And lucky you for not having to feel like you have more arm hair then most men.
I guess I just have issues with hair.
posted by Ames at 12:14 PM
2 Comments:
Those damn hairs do get everywhere!
I guess we should feel happy that we do not have more hair...like planet of the apes.
www.bionicbuddha.com
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