Jesus Ace....but not in a good way.
Alright, c'mon, what was that?
Listen, I'm a decent person, I consider myself kind and caring and good and smart, I honour the vows I make as sacredly as the next person, so here's the deal, I'll keep Ace Young, from this current season of American Idol, as my second husband, for at least another week.
I made the decision last week, after Ace's performance of Father Figure, to forego putting him on my boyfriend list (always changing but currently consisting of Jake Gyllenhaal, Jared Leto, cast of Grey's Anatomy, Sawyer, Jack and Charlie from LOST and Lindsay Lohan) and shoot him straight to husband status. Now as silly as this might sound, it's not. Ok? It's just not. I take my marriages very seriously and few men make it to actual husband status, boyfriends may come and go we all know that, but husbands, choosing husbands is a very strenuous job. Actually, I can only think of one husband I've ever had and I still have him, which says a lot, believe me. Jon Stewart. Now it is possible that the reason Jon's been my only husband is because I've only been implementing this system for the past 2 or so years, but we're splitting hairs there, really. Jon is it for me, his sense of humour can not be beat in every possible way, his wit, his sarcasm, his silliness, are what men should spend their whole lives striving for. Add to that a level of intelligence few living creatures (at least on this planet) could ever even DREAM or pretend to have, and hey it’s not like he’s hard on the eyes, and there you have it, the man for me.
And then comes Ace, I'm usually not so flippant with my emotions, not so easy and willing shall we say, to spread..or open my heart to someone new, someone as gorgeous as Ace, and yet, I couldn't help it. That stare, that song, those shoulders, those jeans (ok seriously does he not have the nicest jeans ever????) I was mesmerized, I was hooked, I was done for. And so Ace did what so few men have done, a relatively unknown became my second husband.
Those damn jeans!
BUT....Ace, c'mon, what WAS that? Seriously? Don't do this to me, till death do US part, man, in sickness AND in health, you're ruining it all for me, I'll never be able to take myself seriously again if you can't even come close to Father Figure.....is it possible for you to sing Father Figure again, all the way thru, top 12 down to top 2? Cuz our marriage would totally work if you could do that.
I'm willing to give you a chance, Ace, I'm taking this V. seriously, are you? Ace? Are you, because it doesn't look like it, your pretty eyes and soft hair will NOT keep you in this marriage alone, ok? I can't do all the work here, you need to meet me at least 3/4 of the way, ok? I'm not asking much, I've overlooked the very good possibility that you have not much going on between those ears, behind those eyes, I'd let you be my daddy any time, ok? I'm giving just about all I've got to give here and I'm scared you're going to disappoint me and I'm not sure I can handle the heartbreak. You've given me hope, hope for the next 14 weeks, you've given me valid excuses to continue this really good relationship I have with my couch, you have no idea how looking forward to this I was and you're crushing my spirit.
One week, Ace, you have one week to fix this, or else...
On a side note, would they airbrush out Mariah Carey's cellulite on the Barbara Walters special?
foXX-A-rama out!
Listen, I'm a decent person, I consider myself kind and caring and good and smart, I honour the vows I make as sacredly as the next person, so here's the deal, I'll keep Ace Young, from this current season of American Idol, as my second husband, for at least another week.
I made the decision last week, after Ace's performance of Father Figure, to forego putting him on my boyfriend list (always changing but currently consisting of Jake Gyllenhaal, Jared Leto, cast of Grey's Anatomy, Sawyer, Jack and Charlie from LOST and Lindsay Lohan) and shoot him straight to husband status. Now as silly as this might sound, it's not. Ok? It's just not. I take my marriages very seriously and few men make it to actual husband status, boyfriends may come and go we all know that, but husbands, choosing husbands is a very strenuous job. Actually, I can only think of one husband I've ever had and I still have him, which says a lot, believe me. Jon Stewart. Now it is possible that the reason Jon's been my only husband is because I've only been implementing this system for the past 2 or so years, but we're splitting hairs there, really. Jon is it for me, his sense of humour can not be beat in every possible way, his wit, his sarcasm, his silliness, are what men should spend their whole lives striving for. Add to that a level of intelligence few living creatures (at least on this planet) could ever even DREAM or pretend to have, and hey it’s not like he’s hard on the eyes, and there you have it, the man for me.
And then comes Ace, I'm usually not so flippant with my emotions, not so easy and willing shall we say, to spread..or open my heart to someone new, someone as gorgeous as Ace, and yet, I couldn't help it. That stare, that song, those shoulders, those jeans (ok seriously does he not have the nicest jeans ever????) I was mesmerized, I was hooked, I was done for. And so Ace did what so few men have done, a relatively unknown became my second husband.
Those damn jeans!
BUT....Ace, c'mon, what WAS that? Seriously? Don't do this to me, till death do US part, man, in sickness AND in health, you're ruining it all for me, I'll never be able to take myself seriously again if you can't even come close to Father Figure.....is it possible for you to sing Father Figure again, all the way thru, top 12 down to top 2? Cuz our marriage would totally work if you could do that.
I'm willing to give you a chance, Ace, I'm taking this V. seriously, are you? Ace? Are you, because it doesn't look like it, your pretty eyes and soft hair will NOT keep you in this marriage alone, ok? I can't do all the work here, you need to meet me at least 3/4 of the way, ok? I'm not asking much, I've overlooked the very good possibility that you have not much going on between those ears, behind those eyes, I'd let you be my daddy any time, ok? I'm giving just about all I've got to give here and I'm scared you're going to disappoint me and I'm not sure I can handle the heartbreak. You've given me hope, hope for the next 14 weeks, you've given me valid excuses to continue this really good relationship I have with my couch, you have no idea how looking forward to this I was and you're crushing my spirit.
One week, Ace, you have one week to fix this, or else...
On a side note, would they airbrush out Mariah Carey's cellulite on the Barbara Walters special?
foXX-A-rama out!
posted by foXXy at 10:16 PM
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